God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
