he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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