Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
