i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
