Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
