i permit you to call me
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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