The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
