Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Randomize
