Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
