We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
