Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
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Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
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We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
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