i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
