I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
