"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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