Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
