Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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