Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
