operation have a gay friend backfired
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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