I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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