ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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