Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize