i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
