Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
