we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize