I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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