I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Randomize
