My nipple is on Facebook.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
