Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Randomize
