Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
