You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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