Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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