You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
