i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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