She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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