Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
