Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
