Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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