I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
