Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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