Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
