listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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