I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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