I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
