When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
