even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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