HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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