I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
