problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
