omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
