"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
