i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
