I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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