Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
