I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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