i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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