Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
