Where is the hickey?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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