In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
