just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize