Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
