the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Randomize
