I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
