i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize